my lifes a joke what was it thinking

what was i thinking im just a person in this world. put on this planet for god knows why. i try so hard at everything i do but always feel like i fail everything and fail everyone. im not to sure what im doing now but i tried. skier me be a skier yea tried that. i thought skiing maked me happy which i does but when you cant do it then im the sadest person alive. relationships me nah to nice of a guy. i walk alone all the time. not knowing where to go wondering. trying to get away from things. when you should stay and battle those feelings and emotions. i tried and tried. thats something that i will always have is the will to keep going and never let something get you down to much. iv been doing it all my life but its gotten to me now i think. where am i heading right now? what am i supposed to do now. i fell hard this time and am trying to stand on two feet again. i have amazing friends i really do, but they arnt true love. you love them as family. not that induvidual love you put all your feelings into. i dont know what im saying anymore. trying to stay strong trying to keep my head held high. everyone has emotions even if you hide them. its because your scarred of that feeling. your scarred to let go of those feelings. dontlet them go and dont be scarred. hold them and cherish them which they are the thoughts that get you by sometimes when your down and in need. i just want to find home. i want to not be alone. i want to never give up that feeling of hope and love. its a battle and it is the toughest one to fight. dont stop keep going.

sometimes you have to make a change even though your heart dosnt want to.

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  • Your not the worst person in the world ur the best. dont worry about what u need to say to me. its ok ali. i always forgive u no matter what happens. yes i did get injured. im in sort of a daze right now since my head dosnt feel right i cant see out of my eye and im still bleeding but its bandaged up. it dosnt always happen. lol. it wasnt because of u plz dont blame urself for this u didnt do this i did. i fell on my face. u didnt push me or anything. ur not a screw up ali ur finding who u really r. and that is an amzing person who is strong and wants to acomplish things. u didnt mess my life up banana. i care so much about u. all i want for u is the best of everything. that is for u to be happy smiling. even if its far away or close by where ever u r. u know i care about u with all my heart and soul. u carry it with u. because i gave that to u to have no one else. dont ever give it away. keep it safe for me in ur travels. i believe in u everyday. i want to go to utah and stuff but i dont want to deter u from going there. u really wanna go. and if im there i feel like u wouldnt want to go anymore. im doing this for u to have u b happy chase ur dreams ur goals. im not trying to end my career. just was skiing and got really hurt. i dont know where iam still. i think? i cant live SSS with out u. i cant b team sundberg and breezy anymore. what i want is to turn on the tv and see u killing it. i want to hear ur name i want to hear people talking about how good u are. i want to hear that ur happy and ur doing what u want. i will always b urs and only urs. i hope and pray everyday that i can say i love u one last time. i wish everyday i might see ur face walking on the street or in a passing car. fuck im bleeding on my computer. where am i even? do you know. and how come i can only remember u? and not my family. im so confused with everything but u for some reason i can only remember us for the past 5 or 6 months. and some stuff in between. sorry i got off topic. ur all that i had and now its time for u to find ur way. to find out what u need in life.  i will always b waiting. u never have to worry about me. i miss u. hope where ever u r ur smiling. dont ever stop. dont ever look back and regret. move foward and live happy. im always here for u when ever u need someone to talk to. when ever ur down when ever ur around im right here for u to lean on. to help u to ur feet. ur not an ass dont say that. ur doing u right. never forget and always remember i love you. if u need my number ever 952 412 8698.
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  • im sorry if i did anything to make u upset and leave me
  • i didnt try to
  • and if i could i would take it all back and hold u close in my arms.
  • this ones urs this one is for 
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  • do you know where iam though? im in a hospital and i cant remeber things for very long i think about 5 mins and then i forget. they keep taking my computer away. and some kid keeps saying he is my friend. apperantly i break down every day because i dont get where the heck iam. im alone and scarred. dont ever b alone ok ali. i love u.
• 
  

  • what the hell i just wrote you like a second ago. im sorry.
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  • Hey ali im doing better they let me have my computer to send you something since my redbull sponsor tom told them to let me. I understand what you want and you want to be friends since you cant deal with relationships and want to be single. Its ok im not mad at all. I just wish i knew what happened and what i did to make us fall apart. i want you to be as happy as can be and i want only the best for you. So if thats what will make you smile then im ok with it. as long as your ok and there is someone in your life to make you happy and lift you up when your down. someone there to talk to you like i did. I want to see you on tv flying though the air. keep trying and pushing on. as for me i think my ski career is coming to an end. non of this was because of you so dont blame your self plz ok. it was my fault. My leg is messed up too. but we wont go into detail about any of my injuries. You need to stomp every trick and ride them out hard. keep up the hard work. your one of a kind and no one will ever top you. i wish that i could come travel with you guys but i know thats not possible. i want to keep in touch with you and see you one day though. i really do. i hope that you will do that for me. you know you can call me when ever you need someone to talk to or need anything. im here for you no matter what happens. i care about you alot ali and thats why if you care about someone you dont get mad at them. So dont worry this dosnt upset me. just know you are the only person who wil ever have my heart. do your thing be strong, think positive, stay happy, smile when the sun is shining, and dont give up. I know that you will go far and show the world something they will never forget. your always my insperation and that will never change. the 6 months that we were together and engaged where the best of my life. i will never forget all the memories we made staying up on the fone late at night talking and the jokes. Banana bapple, butt, . i will be looking out for you from above and in my heart. i do love you and miss you but you cant forget and stop loving someone you will always still have feelings for them. i hope we can talk sometime. dont worry about talking to me you know its all the same and it is diffrent dont be scarred. ok. promise me. if you want to know what else is going on with why in in the hospital let me know. i didnt know this would even happen. now i understand how scarred you were and didnt want to tell anyone when you had it. i hope where ever you are right now that your smiling and happy. your the best. Your my best friend my hero, and my insperation. i wont ever forget that. your amazing banana.
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  • that was supposed to say that it isnt dirffrent. so dont be scarred to talk to me on the fone. you know im not going to be akward or anything. so yea sry about the typo
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  • one more thing is i will always be you friend i will always be your family, i will always be there for you, i will always want the best for you. I will always be there when your down and you need someone to lean on. ur an amazing strong willed person.

10th of the month

Its one of those days that was and always will be special to me. I hope that your day goes well and you have a smile today. I cant even tell you or anyone where iam going because i have no idea yet. i dont think i know what is going on in my life right now but my head hurts my eye is killing me and no one i know of really cares anyway. i hope maybe someone still does. I mean i duno iv just had to much time to think and havent been doing well. I will keep moving to where the snow is and keep riding until it kills me. But today was really about you and how this day always mad me think of you making my heart beat with yours. i miss you though. you know you can always call me


I love you Ali

Guess this is it

So im leaving the hospital today because i cant stand this place anymore and i dont like all the people being around me right now. I know that i wont be coming back here annytime soon let alone at all. if my parents knew they would tell me i need to stay but i didnt let them know. they dont know where iam right now even let alone i just dont know what to do with my life. i think im going away for a long time. gonna get in my car leave panda with my buddy but say good bye to him. He is the last famliy i have but i know he will have more fun with staying here. im gonna miss you bud. thx for traveling with me and staying by myside. making me smile in time of need. They truly are a best friend and wont leave your side. i guess this is where my goals have been reached and i cant go any higher. I mean im not mad that i didnt go further. I accomplished my goal of being able to ski everyday and make new friends along the way. Getting just to the point where i wanted. I dont regret it at all. im making this one short since im trying to get out of this hospital but thank you to all who supported me from past to present i couldnt have done it with out you all. I love you with all my heart. Always know i will be looking out for you guys. I gotta go. Keep an eye out for Allison she will be big coming up in the ski industry. Good luck to you ali i know you can do it. You have the heart of a lion. i hope maybe you read this stuff one day i wrote to you everyday. until my last day. i promised i would. your the only person who could make me smile and talk to me and not judge me. your an amazing person. you are my hero and always will be my hero. I wrote you a little of what i couldnt say on the phone to you since i cant contact you in the post below. its time to spread my wings and fly. keep up the hard work i know you will!

i hope your life is filled with joy

I hope your life is wonderful and you stay happy. I lost the one person in life that meant anything to me. I just want you to go on and try your hardest at everything not stopping for anyone or anything. I want you to be happy every min of the day. I hope that skiing will bring you joy and you reach your goals. you taught me so much and i wont ever forget that. You made me a stronger person. After my fall the other day i woke up in the hospital not being able to see out of one eye. i didnt even care how much pain i was in but was only thinking of you and how you were doing. Life to me has been very lonley now. panda is still here well not in the hospital but at a buddies who was thankfuly there. i want only the best for you and hope to hear about you reaching your goals someday when i turn on the xgames. It will make me smile so big. I will never forget how much you loved me and opened up to me. Its time for me to go away since the one person in my life who brought me happieness is now gone, but i hope that your going to never forget me. your an amazing person and i hope that everyone you meet knows that. I cant tell you how much you changed my life for the better. i wish that all your dreams come true and someone makes you happy. I tried so hard and wish that what ever i did to make you mad i could take back you have no idea. I know you will make it big in skiing and do it for you and dont let your friends tell you other wise. i have always believed in you. I miss you so much. I know you dont want to talk to anyone anymore and thats who you are and no one should judge you for that. im the one to blame for everything dont blame your self. i want to take it from you. Your the only person that made me smile and the only person who never judged me or put me down. You listend to me and were by my side when i needed you. i never wanted to say good bye because even thinking about you makes me happy. maybe i can see you in the future when you famous and everyone knows your name and you are happy as can be. i have lost all faith in myself after this last ski accident and now dont know what to do. the memories we have will always be in my head going back and smiling about things only we know about. your always in my heart and you will always have mine. dont forget that. its times like these where you made me strong. i wish i could tell you one last time how much i loved you and i could hear your voice.  your the one person that calms me down. dont forget that the person you are is amazing and people do love you. i hope you find everything you want in the world. skiing is your sport. its time for you to shine. i could say so much right now but i know you probably wouldnt want to read it all. i could go on and on about everything that you did to make me smile. I wont bug you anymore i promise. but i will keep you in my heart and i hope you never forget about me. you can call me when ever you want but i hope this dosnt keep me out of skiing. your keeping me strong. I do everything you tell me. i just wish you could tell me what i did to make you so mad at me. I wish i could say im sorry. I wish i could be with you and that you would forgive me for anything i did.

I love you allison <3 sorry for everything i did.

fell hard but tried to get back up

I went skiing today since the first day i got out here. Was doing well and trying not to think about to much. I was pushing myself way way to hard to the point where i should have stopped skiing. I didnt want to though since its my last place that i can go. my freedom because i have nothing else in my life anymore. except the one person in my heart and our dog panda. Took a nice fall onto my face and probably should have died but i didnt. I know why and i think eveyone knows. There was one thing that was going through my head the whole time and that was hoping that Ali was ok no matter where she is and has a smile on her face while she was doing it. I was thinking about what if i didnt ever get to talk to her again and did i say everything i needed to. Like i want you to go far in life never give up go for the dreams of being the best skier anyone has ever seen. I want you to be happy in life and strive to help others. dont ever let those people stop you. everyone is looking out for you from above and you will always be in  my heart. i started really breaking down and getting out of it from the pain and the blood. i probably shouldnt be on this computer its hard to type, but my buddie brought me his computer and snuck it in for me so i could type one last thing. i can only see out of one eye right now. i hope our dog is ok. My head is spinning so fast. But ali where ever you are out in the world skiing do it for you and you grandpa. do it so you are happy. find joy in life and never let that feeling go. i only get that feeling from you and when i think about you. I dont know where to go from here, but where ever it is im never going to forget you and wish every day you will call me so i can hear your voice one more time and i can say that i miss you and love you always and i will never break that promise. I will alway be there for you to talk to and be there to support you. I had an interview today with some ski thing but i dont even know how well it went since im so out of it. I talked about you and how people should watch out for the greatest skier out there is coming and they should watch out. Your an amazing loving person. Dont ever change.

I love you Ali <3

Our travels panda and I with you.

i have been sitting around alot thinking with panda (our golden) he has helped me to not be alone as much. He loves the road trip we are taking. I think he is super excited to just be going where ever. Every time i look at him though he reminds me of you. Thats how i know your always with me. As long as panda is there your with us. He looked pretty sad though when i started talking to him and i said your name. i think he has been looking for you too. He jumped out of the car this morning and ran to the nearest snow and rolled in it. So no iam driving the last little bit with a wet smelly dog. its ok though becaus he loves the snow just as much as you do. so what ever makes him happy. I hope that you are out there smiling a little bit and your doing ok. I wish i could be with you right now. No matter how hard you think things get iam with you. there is always a way to keep going and see the good in things. thats what you did for me so i know its possible. Your stronger then iam and i know you can do it. I taught panda how to bark and wake me up when my phone goes off because its funny that he thinks it probably you calling and dosnt want me to miss it. We are always waiting for you and will never stop. I want you to be able to see us some time in the future and know that nothing has changed and we love you. Your love you have shown us cant be matched. I miss you so much. plz plz remember that i always love you. Im never to far away in your heart and looking out for you when your in time of need. 

i love you Allison <3

Music to my ears from you boo

I have been listening to all the music that reminds of you that you showed me and it will always be that way. I hope that when ever you listen to certain songs that they will bring back some memories of us. I love you so much and i hope where ever you are that you know im watching out for you. I miss you so much and iv been with panda (our dog) and he has been trying to put a smile on my face, but its so hard.

I love you allison <3

Sunset for you

i was driving today in the rain going west towards the MTN's and this one song came on while i was listening to my ipod. I remembered all the times you would call me and i would ask your phone pocket dialed me and it sounded like you were listening to music really loud lol. You would say yeah we were and it was mostly because they had a good sound system and you liked to bump your beats! I just remember listening to this song and forgetting how much base this song really had. Its not a song you would think to have super deep loud bass but it hits so hard its nuts. I used to listen to this song when i skied this year out in park city and it made me smile when ever it came on my playlist. So i listened to it about ten times in a row and then pulled over to watch the sunset. I was about 100 miles outside of denver and was hoping you had looked towards the sky and thought about me. I stopped to think for a long while about how long i wanted to stay in CO for. i was pressed to the point that i almost turned around to come home after driving 12 hours. I thought to myself that if i went and skied for two days and got to hit some big jumps that i could get my mind off stuff and i could try and be less stressed. I just want to come home because i know a part of me is missing and i cant live with out you. I dont know which way is up or down and what to call home anymore. I miss you and there is no way to explain that to someone who dosnt know the power of true love. You are still the only one who will ever understand me for me. I cant do this alone with out your support i miss our jokes and late night calls that we would fall asleep too.

I love you Allison <3

May the sun always shine on you

I wanted to tell you today that yesterday i knew you were thinking of me for at least a sec. I was driving home it had already been about 4 hours in the car and i was getting tired. It was cloudy and grey outside and it was becoming a long drive. about a half an hour later the clouds broke up a little bit and the sun shined through on me. No one else was on the high way but me. as i kept driving the clouds broke away and the sun came out. All i  could think about was you and it made me smile and got me the rest of the drive home. I watched the sunset thinking about you and were you are right now. wishing that i could have one last time to watch the sunset with you. I know your always out there watching out for me and i always will have that. its been hard not talking to you and getting to laugh everynight. these past four days have been just grey i guess in a way but it made things better yesterday when the clouds broke away. I need you so much i just hope that some day you will come back and not even worry about if im mad or hate you. When you love someone you should never be angry at them not matter what they do but forgive them. To be angry at someone just makes the world a worse place and dosnt resolve anything. I want you to know that you can call me at any hour of the day and i will be there to talk. I will stop anything iam doing and be there for you. I love you so much. may the wind always be at your back and the sun shining on your face. the clouds will break and bring out the light. 

I love you Allison <3

Dig (we always have each other when everything else is gone)

Its true if i were turn into another i know you would dig me out and find the better part of me. Thats what true love is. To help that person in the time of need and the time of dark places to bring them back to the light. I know for alot of people its hard to not want to and its hard to not want to come out of that place because what you had was everything and you think that your never going to find that ever again and nothing is going to match that. But there is always going to be one person there for you when everyone and everything else is gone and thats the person who always loves you. You never forget true love and you never can. its a part of you even if you want to forget.

I hope that you will always find someone and know that someone is always there to dig for you when you get down or sad and they will be able to lift you up and make you smile. All i want is for you to be happy and not let all the sadness and hurt bring you down and stop you from what i have always seen in you. You always told me to go for my dream and not let anything stop me. You know that when everything is gone and you need someone to pick you up and dig you out. I will always be there. dont ever think that your ever alone. I promised i wouldnt do that. What ever you need no matter the distance iam there.

I love you Allison <3

My heart is with you. love will never be a fight

the last couple of days it has just been so much no one even could start to think where begin. Life has its ups and downs and we al let both of those things get the better of us. We need to find that in between. I dont know why you stopped talking to me and un added me on everything. I dont know why you hung up the phone that one last time but know its ok. I know you need to get away from it all and this is how you deal with things and life. No one is going to stop you. I just hope and pray that you find the direction you want to go and chase it. I mean i know you will. I hope that you dont do anything that is going to stop you from getting there. You need to have the school year back in your life because it helps you get your mind off things. You know that. I just wish it would come sooner so your doing what you wanna do. Dont give up anything you wanted to do. You taught me that one. I will say its been really hard not being able to talk to you. Not having the person there to lift you up when your down. Or to make you smile every day. Its been a struggle. I know that its not up to me though on where you head in life and if you ever want to talk to me again. I hope you know always iam here if you ever need to call my phone will always answer any of your calls no matter where iam or how late it may be those things dont matter. What matters is you. I know your probably never going to read these i mean i pray that you do everyday. I have been so gone with out you. i just wanted to know why you did all that un added me and stuff so i have no way to even say good bye. that is the one thing i wish i could have done. If this was you running away for me and like you said before how i deserve better and stuff like that. I never think that way. I love you and only you. I dont deserve better because your the best thats out there. When you love someone you fight with them and help the with there battles and struggles in life. Your in it together. thats true love and to have some one stick by you and never leave through everything thats something amazing. most guys and girls give up when times get to hard and they cant bare to handle anymore stress, but you fight for true love. You fight and you do it because you told them that. i hope that your dreams stay big and that your worries all go away. i know that they wont go away completely but some what. I just want you to be able to some day wake up with a smile on your face like you made me do every day you were in my life. stay strong like you have shown others dont give up hope. and i will always be by your side no matter where the road takes you. thinking about you with every passing car, cloud, day, month, min, and sec of the rest of my life.  your one of a kind and no one will ever come close to your love you have and strength to match.

Love you Allison <3

I screwed up

• • you probably never want to talk to me agian well i love you and i wont bug you. I hope you know you can call me when ever you need anything i will never stop supporting you. You have shown me that true love does exist and it is out there. I will never regret anything you have given to me. All the memories we have made and shared and the times we laughed. Staying up late on the phone
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  • I want you to know you can do anything you want and i hope you go after all your dreams
  • show the world something they have never seen before and help all the kids out that are out there

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  show them they to can go places and find someone they love

  • know iam never mad at the desicions you make those are for you to follw and your heart to flow as well
  • I want you to know that where ever you are iam with you too
  • no one could have shown me more love then you have shown me
  • if i did something to upset you and make you mad i wish i could take it back
  • to hear your voice yesterday meant so much to me and to hear you say those words i love you meant the world
  • your my world and me best friend my hero and hear and soul
  • and my wonderful fiancee who i will always love
  • if you want me to leave you alone i will
  • i wont bug you anymore
  • just know that for what ever the future holds you go after it and chase your dreams never give up
  • I will write you everyday on my blog if you wish to read it
  • you dont have to and never have to talk to me but i hope some day you will call me
  • or tell me what i did wrong
  • my heart is so sad that i did something to make you mad
  • and it hurts that i did something to make you not want to talk to me
  • but its my fault and i hope some day you will forgive me
  • I love you so much and i hope you know that. i will never break our promise
  • im sorry ali for what ever i did. i miss you so much every day
  • the world is yours go after it and show them what you can do

True true love

True love never dies. True love stays with you forever. True love is never lost. True love is real. Your love will never be lost because every day i will fight for it. You fight for the one you love because they make you feel like no one has ever before. You make me feel like there is nothing else to worry about. You make me feel like im someone. I have never felt this way before for anyone or for any reason. I cant think of a day with out you. if that where ever to happen i dont know what i would do. Thats why i would fight until i couldnt move for your love. I will stand by you and never leave your side. I just always wish the best for you and want you to be with me forever. I want to be that one to make you smile everyday and to make you laugh. I want to give back what you have shown me. You have given me so much and i dont know how i can ever repay you. I want you to know that i know i can never give you what you have given me. I really hope that finding your necklace put a smile on your face. I know how much it means to you to have that necklace so thats why i took so much time to find it. I would do anything to be with you and have your love in my heart. I would walk to the ends of the earth. I owe you everything iam. I love you so much and i miss everyday i dont get to even hear your voice. I miss you every sec every min your away. Remember i always love you.


I love you Allison. <3

love only grows stronger with time

show us what your made of show us what you can do those words will always be true with you. I think that about you every day. How much you can make a difference in this world and show everyone that there is so much to life. You shown me that every day. Your love for me has been something so amazing that its changed my world. Love is something so powerful that it takes over you and you never want to be with out it. Just how i never want to be with out you. One person can make the world of drifferent place in your life. Thats what you have done for me. Being the person who stole my heart from the first day. True love is just so real that words cant desrcibe everything you feel. It captures your mind body and soul and creates these feelings that only you and that other person share. You have done more then that though. You have captured my whole world and made the clouds break and the sun shine through. Nothing could be better then spending the night talking to you and laughing. Making memories and sharing our stories good and bad. True love never hates nor gets mad because when you love someone so much you never should be angry or mad at them. You want to make them so happy that they wil never have to worry. Babe you have shown me so much and all you make me want to do is smile. I wake up thinking about you and fall asleep to the sound of your voice in my head saying you always love me no matter what. My heart beats fast everytime you tell me that. You have me and you will never lose me. Im happy because your my heart and soul. If i dont have you my world would go black. Hearing your voice today was the best thing in the world. I love you so much and im glad your ok. I missed you so much you have no idea. I missed talking to you the whole time you were gone not being able to fall asleep with out hear your voice every night. You are the only one who relaxes me and can calm me down. I hope that you know i will always be by your side because you have mine. I couldnt ask for anything more. Your strong and with out your strength im nothing. You bulid me up more and more everyday. Im so blessed to have you in my life. Your my insperation, the light to my world, my hero, and amazing fiancee.

I love you Allison <3

Im always going to love you

I always am going to look to you for help and always going to look up to you. I need to have you in my heart and by my side to be happy and to keep going. No one can ever show me how to love someone or be loved like you have. I cant ever lose site on that or i will lose myself. I dont want you to ever hear that you are giving up on your self. That means your giving up on me and giving up on the love we have. I need to know that you always have me no matter where you are in the world. You make me so happy. When you called me lastnight and i missed your call i started beating my self up. i was so mad when i woke up and my phone had died and i plugged it in and had a missed call and a message on facebook. I jumped out of bed ran downstairs and turned on my computer so fast. I was so upset that i missed your call i started crying. I listend to your message 3 or 4 times just to hear  your voice or try to make out what you were saying. It was all broken uo and i couldnt hear very much of anything. i thought i hear you say something but i wasnt quite sure so by the last time i listend i heard you say i hope we can talk soon and that you love me and miss me. that made my heart start beating so fast and that i can still talk to you. Just something like that makes me happy to hear. No matter what you do in life im always going to be there to support you and pick you up when you fall if you need help. to support you in every way when any challenge comes before you. I just hope that you never give up on all the good things in life that lay ahead of you. you showed me how no matter how bad htings get we all have something to go for in life something good. It dosnt have to be very big either. Just being a part of someones life is and can be a huge thing for someone. You just being in my life is something that no one else can match. Your my true love and if that is the most important thing i could ever ask for. So dont think that you havent acomplished anything in your life because you have. You have done so much and there is so much more for you. Im going to never break my promise to you and never give up on you. Dont you ever think your stupid and usless because that means that iam too. You dont have to say your sorry at all. The only thing that i have dealt with is the love you have for me and how you will love me for who iam. That alone means the world to me. There is a reason you are here and it is to help others and show them that they can be loved and do things! I love you with all my heart and i want you to know that i will love you till i cant love you anymore and that will never happen. I will always have you on my mind and if i dont then i dont have anything. I hope i can hear your voice soon and that i can have the love of my life be with me.

I love you allison <3

No matter who you are

No matter who you are, where you live, how much money you have, the car you drive, the things you may own, the person you are. All that matters is that your with me and we can trust eachother and always tell the truth to eachother. I never want to lie to you i never want to be someone you can trust. I love you so much that if i lied or you couldnt trust me would break my heart. I hope that no matter where life takes you now and in the future that you will always be the same, and people can trust you and follow you. I just wish some day soon I can tell you what else i wanted to say that i thought was really important. I just want you to know some more about me. I want to keep learning with you. I dont know when we will be able to talk and i can hear your voice again. I hope that if there is anything you want to tell me you can and you know i wont judge you. Your the only person i can trust and you wont judge me that means so much to me. If there is anything or anyone you ever need to talk to you know im here. Im here to listen and help when ever you need someone. If there is anything you need you know im here to do everything i can. You know i will drop anything iam doing and come help you or listen to you. I want you to know that you can tell me anything. I want you to know that if there is something else you want or need to tell me its ok. You know i dont get mad, because being mad dosnt help anything. it only makes people more frustrated. So dont think that i will hate you or be mad i will only have a smile on my face since i get to hear your voice. I love you so much. when you love someone you dont get mad at them and you try and understand what there problems are and listen. You tell them the truth and trust them with all your heart. I miss you so much.  I woke up lastnight thinking about you and just things that made me smile thinking you were here with me. I think the dogs know there is something wrong. even they cant keep me from being lonely. they know mommy is gone and is making me really sad. I hope on your travels your never alone and there is always someone there to make you smile. to make you laugh and show you the world isnt a bad place. that there are other people out there that dont put you down because your a girl. You always know that im with you everyday and everynight in your heart. praying for you and looking out for you. 

I love you Ali <3

I'll be right here with you.

When you feel your heart's guarded
And you see the break's started
When the clouds have all departed
You'll be right here with me

B rock, uh, Darkchild
We back
You'll be right here with me

(Oh, oh, oh)
You'll be right here with me

When your life is going too fast
Off the train tracks
I can slow it down, oh

Just when you think your bout to turn back
'Stead you might crash
I'll be your ground, oh

Oh when you feel your heart's guarded
And you see the break's started
And when the clouds have all departed
You'll be right here with me

And when your tears are dry from crying
And when the world has turned silent
And when the clouds have all Departed
You will be right here with me.

(Oh oh oh)
I will be right here with you
You'll be right here with me
I will be right here with you
You'll be right here with me

When your trapped and there's just no key
And you can't breathe
I breathe for you

The fire's got you down on both knees
And the walls are closing in
But I will break it through

And when you feel alone
I'm a be your home
Whenevers comes and go
You know I got you

Oh when you feel your heart's guarded
And when you see the break's started
And when the clouds have all departed
You'll be right here with me

(You'll see the sun)
And when your tears are dry from crying
And when the worlds turned silent
So when the clouds have all departed
You will be right here with me

I will be here right beside you
Every step you take, yea
I will be your strength, your shelter
Shield you from the rain

(Oh when you feel)
Oh when you feel your heart's guarded
And when you see the break's started
And when the clouds have all departed
You'll be right here with me

And when your tears are dry from crying
And when the worlds turned silent
So when the clouds have all departed
You will be right here with me

Oh when you feel your heart's guarded
And when you see the break's started
And when the clouds have all departed
You'll be right here with me

And when your tears are dry from crying
And when the worlds turned silent
So when the clouds have all departed
You will be right here with me

I will be right here with you
You'll be right here with me
I will be right here with you
You'll be right here with me

I will be right here with you
You'll be right here with me
I will be right here with you
You'll be right here with me, yea