one last wish

Last night was one of the worst. I woke up sweating about every hour. Thinking about you or if i had some how missed the chance to talk to you. I fear that the most. What if i miss the last time she calls. the last time i get to hear her voice. The last time i get to even say anything to her. With my computer by my side with my skype and chat always up so you can call me no matter where you are. ITs getting to me that everyone keeps asking me where you have gone but i dont know what to say or do i wish that i could say something but fear that it will make you mad or dont know where you really are. i dont ever want to upset you and mad you mad. I just cant deal with that. i want you to be happy and find the light in the world you have been searching for. Iv been trying to keep my mind off it but i just cant. i know how much you just want to be alone and with no one. I just wish you would at least call me one more time and let me say what i wanna say and then i will be at peace a little more. I dont know where you are at this point if your even in MN still or if you have jumped on a plane and gone across the ocean thousands of miles. I wish that i was near so i could at least give you a hug and a kiss. For what ever reason you are going to where you are i hope its for a good reason and maybe one day you can tell me why you left to go there. Or what happened to make you need to leave. I was right here for you, even when you gone iam still right  here for you and always will be. i hope that you never forget me and how much i love you. I wish your travels to be safe and that the destination your heading will in some way bring you peace and happieness. That some day you may come home and tell us the story of where you went and your journey you had. That you can one day find me again even though i will never be far from your heart. Im never going to let anyone else take that from you. Remember the promise i made to you i will not break. I keep praying that you will call me one last time before you leave on your journey. I dont know if that will happen. You can never give up on love. Just thinking that you will makes me feel a little better. I hope that you do. I love you allison

Love alex. aka your shangy bangy