fell hard but tried to get back up

I went skiing today since the first day i got out here. Was doing well and trying not to think about to much. I was pushing myself way way to hard to the point where i should have stopped skiing. I didnt want to though since its my last place that i can go. my freedom because i have nothing else in my life anymore. except the one person in my heart and our dog panda. Took a nice fall onto my face and probably should have died but i didnt. I know why and i think eveyone knows. There was one thing that was going through my head the whole time and that was hoping that Ali was ok no matter where she is and has a smile on her face while she was doing it. I was thinking about what if i didnt ever get to talk to her again and did i say everything i needed to. Like i want you to go far in life never give up go for the dreams of being the best skier anyone has ever seen. I want you to be happy in life and strive to help others. dont ever let those people stop you. everyone is looking out for you from above and you will always be in  my heart. i started really breaking down and getting out of it from the pain and the blood. i probably shouldnt be on this computer its hard to type, but my buddie brought me his computer and snuck it in for me so i could type one last thing. i can only see out of one eye right now. i hope our dog is ok. My head is spinning so fast. But ali where ever you are out in the world skiing do it for you and you grandpa. do it so you are happy. find joy in life and never let that feeling go. i only get that feeling from you and when i think about you. I dont know where to go from here, but where ever it is im never going to forget you and wish every day you will call me so i can hear your voice one more time and i can say that i miss you and love you always and i will never break that promise. I will alway be there for you to talk to and be there to support you. I had an interview today with some ski thing but i dont even know how well it went since im so out of it. I talked about you and how people should watch out for the greatest skier out there is coming and they should watch out. Your an amazing loving person. Dont ever change.

I love you Ali <3